I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
