no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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