i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
