I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
