I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
