Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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