i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
