Will you blow on my dice?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
