I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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