Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
