It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
