wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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