butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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