we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
