I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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