Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
