WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
