So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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