Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
