bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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