It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
