They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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