I feel great
I just peed on a car
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize