Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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