wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
being pregnant is like rehab
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
