Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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