Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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