Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
