D3 body, D1 cock
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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