Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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