She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
barbara walters just said penis...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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