yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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