Got a toothbrush?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
