every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
