the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My vagina is officially offended.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
