I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
