Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
God, you're like boner-b-gone
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
