just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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