It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
