ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
