Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
