i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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