I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
