brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
