I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize