He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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