btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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