sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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