he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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