Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize