Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just cropdusted the office
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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