My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
