i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
