She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dick very happy bro
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize