it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
