So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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