I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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