you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
